If I were INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY, I would….

There is nothing like a few vacation days off from work to make you appreciate the value of free time.  I love, love, love time off from work.  A home stay-cation over the 4^th of July is just what I needed. The slower pace, the relaxation, fun with friends and family,  reconnection with Derek, Nigel & Jacob, home-cooked meals; they are all a little slice of heaven. I sure do miss being home now that I’m back at work.  My stay-cation makes me realize that I just don’t like working. Having to get up at the crack of dawn, shower, fix my hair, get all dressed, drive to work, work, drive home and then fit all the good stuff in about 3 hours of the day before bedtime just isn’t enough for me.  I want more. I want to become independently wealthy like all those home investors on the Carlton Sheets infomercial.  And I only want to do what I WANT TO DO!

There are a few ways to go about this. I could hit the lottery jackpot, join Carlton Sheets for $199.95 and make my fortune in the real estate market (RIIIGGGHHTT…), slip and fall at Wal-Mart and sue for a bazillion bucks, rob a bank, invent something super-duper fabulous that nobody ever thought of before….I could go on and on with the hair-brained schemes, but in reality not one of them is fool-proof (or if it is, it’s not legal). Dang it, I was really having fun planning the next big Ponze Scheme.

If I were RICH (i.e. don’t have to worry a bit over money. Like, have so much I could never spend it all…) I would do the following:

1. PROTECT AND INVEST. Gotta make sure the future generations will all be fabulously, independently wealthy, too.

2. THE BOOK STORE. Open a coffee house/wine store/used & new book store and spend my days happily sipping joe (a.m.) or wine (p.m.) and discussing the merits of both along with my favorite read of the week with all my friends, clients and customers who come visit my awesome-fabulous-bookstore. I’d have book club discussions every day, great writers would come visit, speak and sign their books, we’d be the “IT” place for the ladies (and gentlemen) to meet and have a glass or two of wine with friends, clients would get great book recommendations, not pay exorbitant prices for books (i.e. cheap), and I’d be the super-star. Of course, I’d hire somebody to do all the work, but that would be my special place and I just know I’d love it. My hours: 10-2 and 7-10 daily, except when the husband’s and kids’ schedules conflict with sports and other fun stuff.  I can totally smell the coffee & cookies (and old leather bindings) right now.

3. DIVING. When I’m not at the bookstore, I’d be spending time with my husband and kids in fabulous locales around the world, pursing the perfect scuba-diving location.  I’d study coral, fishes and sea creatures and be an ocean environmental activist (I use that term loosely, as I’m not really the ACTIVIST TYPE, but would promote and financially support research and conservation efforts to preserve and protect the ocean.)

4. CHARITY WORK. My charities would be the Humane Society or other animal protection group, the American Cancer Society or other health research groups, and something like Habitat for Humanity to help under-privileged people live better lives. I’d be a foster mother for stray dogs/puppies and probably have a whole pack of dogs that I couldn’t part with.  Of course, they’d all be perfectly well behaved and groomed at all times.  And like cats (not to eat, but to play with). And like kids. And not bark at everything.

5. PAMPER MYSELF. Well, really – who wouldn’t?  I want a personal trainer to whip me into shape, someone to plan and shop for meals, (I’ll do the cooking, I like that part), clean my house, mow my yard, make pretty flowers grow, and give me a pedicure once a week. I know…I want an “Alice” like on the Brady Bunch. Plus a yard man/pool boy/gardener who knows how to grow good veggies.  He should be like the Dog Whisperer only better looking.

Hey, this is my fantasy. Don’t judge me too much on my self-absorbed dreams. I realize this isn’t going to pan out, but I am buying a lottery ticket for tonight. When I win, y’all know exactly where to find me. J