I'm an ESFP. What are you?

If you know me at all, you already know that I LOVE personality tests, horoscopes, ESP, fortune-tellers, psychics and fortune cookies – anything that will give me insight into the who, what, how, why and when of my past, present and future existence, and the way that those around me think, feel and react. I’m really into it!  If I ever write a book, it might just have something to do with this fascinating subject.  (Totally in a fictional fantasy sort of genre, if you care to know.)

How are personality tests and psychic fortune-tellers related, you ask?  It's ok, normal people probably wouldn’t see the relationship.  In my view, they both use the MAGIC of perception, careful analysis of the ways people react and the knowledge personality tests have established to reveal their secrets.  If you’re good at it, you really can see the future.

Anyway, I recently learned how I can use that information to communicate and interact better with the people around me, like my husband, my kids, my boss, my friends, my “frenemies” (well, if I had any…) It’s AMAZING and IT WORKS.

The proof is in the pudding!! I got a just got a raise (not a big one, but it IS one!) and it’s in large part to my wonderful fabulousness, but also to the fact that I did a bullet list of all my accomplishments (like 2 or 3 words each) over the past year and shared them during a short, purposely pre-scheduled, mid-year evaluation meeting with my boss who is a DIRECTOR personality.  She was totally WOW’ed at all I had done, could hold it in her hand, skim it quickly and she agreed that I deserved performance increase - especially because I included the DETAIL that my last pay increase (as a STATE EMPLOYEE) was in October, 2008.  Gawd, that’s awful! Dumb, crappy economy L

This was a perfect example of The Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.  This phrase was coined by Tony Allesandra.  The skinny is that there are 4 Human Behavior Styles based on this grid:

I want to know what YOUR personality type is! Post a comment or email me and I'll send you the test and scoresheet.  In case you didn’t guess, I’m a SOCIALIZER.  I KNOW!!! It so fits, right???

Another one of my favorite personality tests is the Briggs-Myers personality test (based on Carl Jung’s theories) of personality types. [NOT to be confused with Braxton-Hicks contractions which are pre-labor pains…] There are four basic types there too, but then they are subdivided even more.  They are Guardian, Artisan, Idealist, and Rational.  Check it out here: http://keirsey.com/

I’m an ESFP or Artisan PERFORMER. What’s cool about that is ITS RIGHT! I am! “Look at me!” “Read my BLOG!!”  I’m an optimist, cheerful and like to have FUN J The downside to my Socializer/Artisan Performer personality is that I’m really bad with follow-through (i.e. procrastination) and don’t always think though all the consequences of my actions.  Like, I really wanted that muffin and vanilla latte this morning because I was hungry and it sounded really good, but dammit, I ate my paycheck again this month and really need to be dieting.  BAD KATIE, BAD BAD!!

One of the best things you learn when you study personality tests is why those relationships you had that failed, failed! For example, my ex-husband’s personality type is either a complete “contrast” to mine, or an actual “anima” which means we won’t get along at all in the long term. It might seem cool or mysterious at the beginning because it's really different, but you can't have a good, lasting relationship with someone you drive completely nuts, or who drives you completely nuts. It’s really a wonder we actually got married at all. (sic. That “consequences” of actions thing probably is to blame, that and I'M IRRESISTABLE.)

I've made an educated guess that eHarmony uses the personality test system to match people up. When I did my "profile", I answered a bunch of questions about what I like and don't like, how I make decisions, what my personal preferences are, etc. You know what? They matched me with Derek. He's my soul-mate. The rest is history.  We have totally compatible personalities. We get each other. We complement and support each other. His weaknesses are my strengths and vice-versa.  We both like socializing and fun.  Add to all that, I’m a Leo (Aug 7) who is compatible with Gemini (June 2), and I’ve totally got it made with Derek all the way around.

Leo and Gemini love compatibility:
An affectionate pair who really enjoy each other. While Leo loves with his/her heart first, Gemini loves with his/her mind. Gemini seem to be romantic enough for Leo. The Gemini's stability will not be fluctuated by the moody Leo. Leo's self-confidence blinks at Gemini's flirtations with others. Gemini's penchant for ridicule can annoy regal Leo, though, and Leo will probably demand more adoration than Gemini is willing to give. It can be a problem but they have so much fun together that don't tend to pay attention to such small problems. Both Leo and Gemini have strong desire to have a passionate, emotional life. Sexually, Leo loves whole-heartly and Geminis variable desires are a complete mystery to him/her. Leo is quite capable of warm-heartly breaking down any resentments that Gemini may harbor from the daytime thereby easing the tension in the bedroom. It will be an acceptable connection and, surely, safe marriage in the future.

My horoscope indicates that ya’ll might not jump on the personality test bandwagon, but I hope you do!  I'm paying attention!

LEO Wednesday, June 29, 2011

You may feel extra dreamy today, Leo. Your moods may fluctuate. It may be hard to get other people to share your boisterous good humor. Trying to get people to jump on your bandwagon of excitement may be difficult. Perhaps there's something going on with them and their emotions that you simply aren't noticing. Pay attention.

You can't ever have too many friends....

So, I totally have a new girlfriend! I love it when that happens!!  As I’ve grown older and realized the value of girlfriends, I’ve become so much more aware of how important and fulfilling girl-relationships are.  Going through a divorce brought it home for me, and I will never go back to “my man is enough for me.” (Or allow myself to be isolated and brainwashed, but that’s another story….)

Don’t get me wrong, I love my man and he’s “it” for me. I’ve found my “soul-mate” and all that jazz.  The thing is, girlfriends GET YOU.  Girlfriends are IMPORTANT.  And I am talking about REAL girlfriends. The kind that stick by you when you’re being an idiot, the kind that will tell you, “um, hey, maybe you should rethink that whatever…”, the kind you bounce ideas off of and will give you good feedback, the ones that celebrate the good stuff with you, and the kind that SHOW UP for stuff you wouldn’t want to show up for yourself. 

I believe I am one of the luckiest girls on earth, because I can count my REAL girlfriends on fingers AND toes.  I do not have a doubt that if I am in crisis, there will be a baker’s dozen there for me, offering me a place to stay, a comfortable bed to sleep in, someone to feed me, love my kids, love my pets, take care of my husband (unless, of course, he’s the source of the problem,) clean my house, wipe up the rest of the mess, cry with me, listen to me go-on-and-on, and in general BE THERE for me.  My girlfriends also show up for the fun stuff. And bring wine.  I am truly blessed.  You girls know who you are. I don’t have to name names.

Some of you have been around forever. Some of you have been around a really good, long time. We’ve seen a lot together, grown into the women we’ve become together and know that even if we don’t call each other on the phone all the time, we’re still friends.  I rely on you and trust in your friendship implicitly. 

Some of you are fairly new friends, but I know you’re the keeper kind. The ones that keep up with each other, make an effort in cultivating the friendship, reciprocate invitations, (you know...I call you...you call me....) and we genuinely like each other.  I love it that I’m able to continue to make friends.  Some of you I’ve found in unlikely places.  Some of you I’m delighted you were exactly where you should have been. Some of you I lost accidentally and then refound.  You gotta love it when that happens!

I love it when I make a new girlfriend, and I always know right away whether I’ve “clicked” with someone, or not.  Time flies by, conversation is easy, sharing comes naturally, laughs are abundant and satisfaction is immediate.  There’s a thread that is picked up, woven in with the rest, and the resulting tapestry is both beautiful and strong. 

Here’s a shout out to all my girlfriends. Again, you know who you are and you know I love you J  Thanks for being there for me and for being who you are.  You are the BEST at being you and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  And know this, I’m THERE for you, too. No matter what!