I'm an ESFP. What are you?

If you know me at all, you already know that I LOVE personality tests, horoscopes, ESP, fortune-tellers, psychics and fortune cookies – anything that will give me insight into the who, what, how, why and when of my past, present and future existence, and the way that those around me think, feel and react. I’m really into it!  If I ever write a book, it might just have something to do with this fascinating subject.  (Totally in a fictional fantasy sort of genre, if you care to know.)

How are personality tests and psychic fortune-tellers related, you ask?  It's ok, normal people probably wouldn’t see the relationship.  In my view, they both use the MAGIC of perception, careful analysis of the ways people react and the knowledge personality tests have established to reveal their secrets.  If you’re good at it, you really can see the future.

Anyway, I recently learned how I can use that information to communicate and interact better with the people around me, like my husband, my kids, my boss, my friends, my “frenemies” (well, if I had any…) It’s AMAZING and IT WORKS.

The proof is in the pudding!! I got a just got a raise (not a big one, but it IS one!) and it’s in large part to my wonderful fabulousness, but also to the fact that I did a bullet list of all my accomplishments (like 2 or 3 words each) over the past year and shared them during a short, purposely pre-scheduled, mid-year evaluation meeting with my boss who is a DIRECTOR personality.  She was totally WOW’ed at all I had done, could hold it in her hand, skim it quickly and she agreed that I deserved performance increase - especially because I included the DETAIL that my last pay increase (as a STATE EMPLOYEE) was in October, 2008.  Gawd, that’s awful! Dumb, crappy economy L

This was a perfect example of The Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.  This phrase was coined by Tony Allesandra.  The skinny is that there are 4 Human Behavior Styles based on this grid:

I want to know what YOUR personality type is! Post a comment or email me and I'll send you the test and scoresheet.  In case you didn’t guess, I’m a SOCIALIZER.  I KNOW!!! It so fits, right???

Another one of my favorite personality tests is the Briggs-Myers personality test (based on Carl Jung’s theories) of personality types. [NOT to be confused with Braxton-Hicks contractions which are pre-labor pains…] There are four basic types there too, but then they are subdivided even more.  They are Guardian, Artisan, Idealist, and Rational.  Check it out here: http://keirsey.com/

I’m an ESFP or Artisan PERFORMER. What’s cool about that is ITS RIGHT! I am! “Look at me!” “Read my BLOG!!”  I’m an optimist, cheerful and like to have FUN J The downside to my Socializer/Artisan Performer personality is that I’m really bad with follow-through (i.e. procrastination) and don’t always think though all the consequences of my actions.  Like, I really wanted that muffin and vanilla latte this morning because I was hungry and it sounded really good, but dammit, I ate my paycheck again this month and really need to be dieting.  BAD KATIE, BAD BAD!!

One of the best things you learn when you study personality tests is why those relationships you had that failed, failed! For example, my ex-husband’s personality type is either a complete “contrast” to mine, or an actual “anima” which means we won’t get along at all in the long term. It might seem cool or mysterious at the beginning because it's really different, but you can't have a good, lasting relationship with someone you drive completely nuts, or who drives you completely nuts. It’s really a wonder we actually got married at all. (sic. That “consequences” of actions thing probably is to blame, that and I'M IRRESISTABLE.)

I've made an educated guess that eHarmony uses the personality test system to match people up. When I did my "profile", I answered a bunch of questions about what I like and don't like, how I make decisions, what my personal preferences are, etc. You know what? They matched me with Derek. He's my soul-mate. The rest is history.  We have totally compatible personalities. We get each other. We complement and support each other. His weaknesses are my strengths and vice-versa.  We both like socializing and fun.  Add to all that, I’m a Leo (Aug 7) who is compatible with Gemini (June 2), and I’ve totally got it made with Derek all the way around.

Leo and Gemini love compatibility:
An affectionate pair who really enjoy each other. While Leo loves with his/her heart first, Gemini loves with his/her mind. Gemini seem to be romantic enough for Leo. The Gemini's stability will not be fluctuated by the moody Leo. Leo's self-confidence blinks at Gemini's flirtations with others. Gemini's penchant for ridicule can annoy regal Leo, though, and Leo will probably demand more adoration than Gemini is willing to give. It can be a problem but they have so much fun together that don't tend to pay attention to such small problems. Both Leo and Gemini have strong desire to have a passionate, emotional life. Sexually, Leo loves whole-heartly and Geminis variable desires are a complete mystery to him/her. Leo is quite capable of warm-heartly breaking down any resentments that Gemini may harbor from the daytime thereby easing the tension in the bedroom. It will be an acceptable connection and, surely, safe marriage in the future.

My horoscope indicates that ya’ll might not jump on the personality test bandwagon, but I hope you do!  I'm paying attention!

LEO Wednesday, June 29, 2011

You may feel extra dreamy today, Leo. Your moods may fluctuate. It may be hard to get other people to share your boisterous good humor. Trying to get people to jump on your bandwagon of excitement may be difficult. Perhaps there's something going on with them and their emotions that you simply aren't noticing. Pay attention.

Life IS good!

Success is sweet and having a break finally come our way is like having candy, cake and cookies all at the same time - or an ice cream sundae with all the toppings and a little nut crunch. 

Since Derek and I were married a little over two years ago, we’ve had what I would call “more than our fair share of trials.” From my issues with child custody and a$$hole ex-husband, to Derek’s job moving to Denver where we couldn’t follow it, to trying to sell houses (his and mine) in this shitty depressed economy, to Derek working all week out of town and still with an hour and a half commute each way at a job he despised, to the accidental death of our dog, Sammie, last November.  We’ve weathered the storm pretty well, I’d like to think, and with this good news, I feel the tide finally turning in our favor. Knock on wood!

It hasn’t all been bad-far from it, in fact. But the struggles, setbacks and disappointments have hung over us like a big, fat albatross and I’ve just continuously waited for the next shoe to drop.  There is a huge pile of them (all ugly) and I sure hope they are done falling now.  A tremendous weight has been lifted and my outlook on the future is refreshed and re-energized.

We enjoyed a fantastic family dinner out tonight at one of our favorite restaurants to celebrate. Both of my boys were with us, and we were all frolicsome and happy and have great big, full bellies.  Derek’s new job starts Monday and he’ll be home with us a lot more. While the #2 Big Item – the house – hasn’t sold yet, we don’t feel quite the same sense of displacement and uncertainty about the future. The urgency has dissipated. Poof! What a relief!   

The honeymoon ain’t over, yet, folks. We’ve got a lot more good stuff to look forward to. The next bright spot is right around the bend and I’m sure looking forward to it. 

What’s a fifteen letter word for a thing that ruins your life?

P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N

Bad habits are hard to break.  I’ve got a bunch of them and they are seriously annoying the shit out of me. Rather, I’m extremely annoyed with myself. (I must take ownership!)  Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery, right?

Bad Habit #1.  I’ll do it later….Procrastinating wreaks all kinds of havoc in my life, but it did help get the closets cleaned out.  On Saturday, I had all kinds of time to study for World History.  I knew the test was this week and that test covers three whole chapters on the Byzantine Empire, the Islamic World and Saharan Africa.  That’s A LOT of material.  What did I do??  I cleaned out three closets.  I worked on my husband’s project with him. We went out and ran errands together. What should I have been doing with at least part of that time??  STUDYING!  Now the test deadline is tomorrow, I have no idea what it’s about and I have about 24 hours to cram it all in (5 more of which I’m supposed to be working.)  Why do I do this to myself??  Argh!

Bad Habit #2. Failure to plan ahead….Flying by the seat of your pants is closely related to procrastination. It’s like procrastination’s fraternal twin, and they are both ugly suckers.  I did an analysis of my last 30 days expenditures and what did I discover?? I have gobbled up a whopping 12% of my total income by eating out. That’s grabbing a Starbucks occasionally, snaking through the fast-food line at lunch, and ordering up something really yummy for dinner when I could really PLAN AHEAD.  Do a little strategic grocery shopping. Cook (duh!). Brew my own coffee. Take my lunch to work.  What a novel idea!! I could still have an appetizer and drinks with my friends sometimes, but all this last minute, “I’M STARVING and didn’t plan ahead so I’d have something to eat” has really put a hole in my pocketbook.  Listen, when my blood sugar drops I turn into Attilla the Hun and I’ve really got to eat something to cram that monster back in it’s box. It’s ridiculous! I know this. I totally need to stick some trail mix in my desk and be prepared!

Bad Habit #3.  Laziness….Lack of physical exercise is making me feel like crap-ola. I have a zillion excuses about why I can’t exercise.  Some of them have a slight bit of merit (you know, asthma that’s not asthma but something undefined), but mostly I’m just lazy.  Bad Habit #1 and Bad Habit #2 also come into play here, but it boils down to pure laziness. I need to get my a$$ up out of the bed an hour early and go walk the dog, take a jog in the evening, walk around campus, use the freakin’ stairs.  I know I’ll feel better if I do. I just have to DO IT!!

There, I have admitted my bad habits to the world.  I’m counting on shame, mortification and peer pressure to motivate me to make a change.  Will you please help hold me accountable? Don’t procrastinate - do it now!   

Happy Father's Day, Dad

It’s Father’s Day this Sunday and I am looking forward to celebrating my Dad.  We’ll gather at my brother & sister-in-law’s house, have a yummy meal, sit around slinging bullsh** and my brother and I will probably bicker. (That’s almost a given.)  My boys will be there along with my niece, and the kids will argue, fight, play video games and get yelled at for something. Tim’s dogs will be rambunctious, lick everyone in the face and steal food.  My Dad will sit back in the recliner after eating and watch it all going on with a smirk-like grin on his face.  I can only imagine what he’s thinking. Probably something like “payback is hell”… I know he’ll enjoy it.

I’m so lucky to have been able to grow up with a Dad like mine.  We were a single-parent family from the time I was 13, and that single parent was my DAD.   He’s a Dad that sticks by his kids. Sure, we can do wrong and often did, but he has always been there with whatever it is that we need.  I seek his advice often now that I’m encroaching on 40.  And his advice is always good.  He KNOWS stuff.  Why didn’t I realize that when I was 16, or 20, or 28 for goodness sake?

Some of the things my Dad taught me:

1. Blood is thicker than water and family is family.  You do anything for your family and they will do anything for you.  This is a generations-long tradition with the Masons.  Even now, I know if i commit some felony and have to leave the state, I’d have shelter with one of my Mason cousins. And there are a bunch of them.  As “interesting” as my relationship is with my brother, I call and he’s there. It works both ways.

2. Think for yourself.  Sure, LEARN from teachers, books, TV, church, mentors, friends, etc. Learning is good. But you must think about what you’ve learned and make your own decisions.  Don’t believe everything you read or hear. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.  Dad quotes Occam's Razor - All else being equal, the simplest answer is most likely the right one. Of course, that’s paraphrased, but you get the idea.

3. Be independent.  As a girl, my Dad taught me that I shouldn’t be dependent on some man for my happiness, financial support or to change a flat tire.  He made me take a perfectly good tire off my 1976 Honda Civic and then put it back on. By myself.  I did it, and I can still do it.  I know how to wield a screwdriver, a power drill and a socket wrench. I can also support myself financially. I work, make a decent salary and know how to balance my checkbook.  I’d probably make more money now if I’d listened to my Dad when I was 20. I was pretty head-strong then and made my own decisions. I learned Rule #2 a little too well, maybe.      

My Dad taught me a bunch more things, but I think these are the top 3.  Thanks, Dad, for being who you are and for raising me to value family ties, think for myself and stand on my own two feet. You are a great Dad!  I love you and I still need you, though, so pick up the phone when I call!  Happy Father’s Day!! 

You can't ever have too many friends....

So, I totally have a new girlfriend! I love it when that happens!!  As I’ve grown older and realized the value of girlfriends, I’ve become so much more aware of how important and fulfilling girl-relationships are.  Going through a divorce brought it home for me, and I will never go back to “my man is enough for me.” (Or allow myself to be isolated and brainwashed, but that’s another story….)

Don’t get me wrong, I love my man and he’s “it” for me. I’ve found my “soul-mate” and all that jazz.  The thing is, girlfriends GET YOU.  Girlfriends are IMPORTANT.  And I am talking about REAL girlfriends. The kind that stick by you when you’re being an idiot, the kind that will tell you, “um, hey, maybe you should rethink that whatever…”, the kind you bounce ideas off of and will give you good feedback, the ones that celebrate the good stuff with you, and the kind that SHOW UP for stuff you wouldn’t want to show up for yourself. 

I believe I am one of the luckiest girls on earth, because I can count my REAL girlfriends on fingers AND toes.  I do not have a doubt that if I am in crisis, there will be a baker’s dozen there for me, offering me a place to stay, a comfortable bed to sleep in, someone to feed me, love my kids, love my pets, take care of my husband (unless, of course, he’s the source of the problem,) clean my house, wipe up the rest of the mess, cry with me, listen to me go-on-and-on, and in general BE THERE for me.  My girlfriends also show up for the fun stuff. And bring wine.  I am truly blessed.  You girls know who you are. I don’t have to name names.

Some of you have been around forever. Some of you have been around a really good, long time. We’ve seen a lot together, grown into the women we’ve become together and know that even if we don’t call each other on the phone all the time, we’re still friends.  I rely on you and trust in your friendship implicitly. 

Some of you are fairly new friends, but I know you’re the keeper kind. The ones that keep up with each other, make an effort in cultivating the friendship, reciprocate invitations, (you know...I call you...you call me....) and we genuinely like each other.  I love it that I’m able to continue to make friends.  Some of you I’ve found in unlikely places.  Some of you I’m delighted you were exactly where you should have been. Some of you I lost accidentally and then refound.  You gotta love it when that happens!

I love it when I make a new girlfriend, and I always know right away whether I’ve “clicked” with someone, or not.  Time flies by, conversation is easy, sharing comes naturally, laughs are abundant and satisfaction is immediate.  There’s a thread that is picked up, woven in with the rest, and the resulting tapestry is both beautiful and strong. 

Here’s a shout out to all my girlfriends. Again, you know who you are and you know I love you J  Thanks for being there for me and for being who you are.  You are the BEST at being you and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  And know this, I’m THERE for you, too. No matter what!

Keys to my innermost self....

I never realized what you can tell about a person by looking at their keys. You can totally freak someone out, like you're a fortune teller or psychic or something, simply by carefully checking out their keys.


From mine, you can tell I do a lot of grocery shopping, I like B-iLo and use bonus points to get a gasoline discount at Spinx.  You can also tell where I work, the county where I live, that I utilize the public library (therefore, I probably like books), and that I have a kid in elementary school.  Publix Partners support public schools.  Only elementary school parents bother with PTA. By the time kids have reached middle school and high school, it's only the die-hards that keep the donations coming in.

You might also discern that I like the ocean, the beach, the Carribbean and snorkling or scuba diving. You could guess that I like to travel and have been to St. Thomas fairly recently.  You could also tell that I have a PO Box, a house, a car and I'm trustworthy since they let me have a "master key" at work.  I'm a real catch. (Derek can corroborate that!)   Plus, I don't use one of those hook things to connect my keys to my belt loop; therefore I'm way cool.

It's like putting your kid's name on his backback, your name on your mailbox, or wearing a t-shirt with your name across the back (a/k/a SAIL swim team t-shirts from the old days.)  Do you really want total strangers to know your kid's name, or yours? An observant person can glean a lot from the things you wear, carry on you, leave laying around on your office desk or living room coffee table.  Heaven forbid a crook ever gets hold of your phone. I'd be totally screwed!

Anyway, I heard the song, Fortune Teller, by Robert Plant on my ipod this morning, and got to thinking, did the Fortune Teller really fortell that the guy would fall in love with her, or did his keys give him away?





Connected by DROID on Verizon Wireless

FSBO and other abbreviations

This real estate market totally sucks. That statement is from my point of view as a Seller.  From a Buyer's point of view, this real estate market is pure gold (if you have a job and can qualify for a mortgage.)  We've had our house actively for sale since January 2010. Actively is the magic word, because it's really been longer than that.  We need to sell, otherwise we wouldn't even be trying right now. It's a "buyers market."

It's like smashing a round peg into a square hole, or banging your head against the wall.  "For Sale" in 2011 is synonymous with BIG FAT LOSS. No offers. A few showings, regular open houses where nobody comes except nosy neighbors, abject critcisim for my housekeeping abilities (granted, they do have a small point there, but really - who vacuums walls anyway?)  Our baseboards are sometimes furry because we live there and we really love our pets. And kids. And friends.  Who wants to become a sterile, no-fun hermit for 18 months? Is that really what you have to do?

So, here is our house. We now have it FSBO. Fizzbo. (For Sale By Owner)  I made up some flyers using my amazing skills in Publisher and popped them in a info box that is bungee corded to the For Sale sign.

My remarkable marketing talents have earned us a showing tomorrow at 6:30 p.m. to some people who called on the phone.  I'm a little freaked out about this, because I've got total strangers coming to my house to look in all the cupboards and closets and find fault with my housekeeping. It's a lot worse than just leaving and hoping for the best. I have to witness it.  Also, what if they're axe murderers or serial killers preying on unsuspecting FBSOs. Should I have mace? A butcher knife? Use the buddy system? Sick the dog on them? That's probably not good salesmanship, but I digress...

Tomorrow night is also Book Club night which rocks. VLVBC. (That's Viva La Vino Book Club) because guess what??  We like to mix wine in with our discussion. As a group, we like WINE and not WHINE. Nobody likes that whiney female protagonist who can't make a decision. I'll give you a for instance. Bella. In Twilight. Ugh, hate her. 



Our selection this month is Little Bee by Chris Cleave. I gave it 5 stars.  This is my Goodreads review:

"I listened to Little Bee on audio recording. This is one of the most intellectually provocative, emotionally engaging, beautifully written novels I have ever read. The language was bright, vivid, beautiful. Perfection. For those who are squeamish about violence, beware, but know it is integral to the story."

And Laurie is serving African Wine! Wow! And we get to pick out our own "Little Bee" names. I think I'll be "Big Mean Dog", that way the strangers coming to the house beforehand won't be tempted to mess with me.  Think they'll make an offer?

Don't make me laugh too hard....

And god-forbid, don't let me sneeze.  All you chicas 39 and over know what I mean. I shoulda' done those dang kegel exercises.

Turning 40 isn't so bad, its just that the warranty recently expired and everything is beginning to wear down, malfunction, jiggle, droop, drop and just plain break. And I'm not the only one. My husband Derek is 40 this year, too, and has developed plantar fasciitis. Bless his heart, all he wants me to rub lately is his feet. 

Sore feet also puts the kabosh on dancing and going to shows at The Handlebar.  The concrete floors in there are murder.  Is that why we were the oldest couple in there Friday night for the Chris Cab set?  He's pretty fly for a white reggae artist. (Is that what the young people still say, "fly for a white guy"?)

After our dive vacation to Curacao last year, (OMG, Curacao was awesome!! We saw a spotted eagle ray during that trip! )

 

I felt so freakin' tired. Like worn out, can't get out of bed and go to work tired. So, I went to the doctor and told him I was tired and there was something wrong with me. He poked and prodded, tested and xrayed, and lo and behold he said I wasn't getting enough oxygen. He didn't know why, but prescribed me some asthma meds and sent me on my way.  After a year of this and feeling like my chest was constricting all the time, I went back & got higher doses and a referral to a pulmonologist.  

So this specialist talked to me and poked and proddded, tested and xrayed, and lo and behold he said I don't have asthma.  Well, that's GREAT. I mean, I'm glad I don't have asthma, but what the heck is wrong with me? Did scuba-diving using a community regulator give me black lung or something? Did I screw up my lungs by not doing a full 5 minute safety stop?  Why am I taking all these asthma meds?  Hmmmm, maybe you have....sleep apnea???  I'm going for a sleep study next week. That's why it's called practicing medicine.  Practice makes perfect, right??  If at first you don't succeed, try, try again?

So I'm undergoing more testing and junk like that, but I can guaran-damn-ty you that no 20 year old is writing about health issues in her blog.  That's what getting old does to you.  My grandma used to say, "It's HELL getting old."- (Kathryn Cone Way).  Grandma wasn't joking.  Heaven help us if I start writing about bathroom habits. Ya'll just commit me to the nursing home. Do come and visit once in a while. Bring Depends.

Time...we are a-wasting....

This is my very first blog ever. I don't know whether I will actually blog or not. I suppose I'll try it out and see. That's how I make most of my decisions anyway. Trial and error. Research and analysis go hang....that takes too much planning and effort, i.e. wasted time. I want to put my effort into the here and now. I dig instant gratification. It's Mint! (Just saw Super 8 - what a great movie!!)

A Katydid is a bug, related to a cricket. This is a Katydid...

katydid nymph

I named my blog Katie-Did. This me, Katie....


Katie-did - not a nymph, prefer to be related to mermaid...

Recently, I've got a lot of time on my hands. It's like I've gotten a pay raise, but with time. The boys are with their Dad all summer, Derek's working in Hot-lanta all week, so it's just me, Charcoal Charlie the tripod dog and Boops the grouchy, recently-diabetic kitty-cat. He's a fatty-lumkins.

Boops

Charcoal Charlie posing with his boy, Nigel

I'm taking a world history class to take up some of this new-found time. I wish they offered the text book on audio-cd.  Why do academics make history so BORING?? It's not boring, it's the delivery. They have me confusing ancient Greeks with ancient Romans and dreading Charlemagne. How did I get to be 40 and not know ANYTHING about Alexander the Great, Augustus (Octavius) Cesar or Byzantine history???  And, do I really need to know it if I don't know it by 40?

I'm strongly considering possibly exercising with this new-found time.  The community pool is open and there's never anyone there. I could go and swim laps. If I do, I want to use my mask and snorkle, and maybe my fins. I'll call it snorkling practice. I really just want to be able to breathe. And cover a bunch of laps. I will be a bad-ass. Maybe I'll drop a few pounds and get skinny.  I can't go do it now though, a thunderstorm is brewing and I don't want to get zapped.  Then all my time would be up. Not good.

The thing with having all this time on my hands is I can't decide what I should do with it. I end up wasting it watching Weeds. I dig Weeds. It's Mint! I just finished watching the whole last season. I can't wait to see what Nancy (a/k/a Nathalie') does next...she's a total sociopath, but I love her anyway.

I'm also feeling rather artistic lately with all this time I've found. I've decided to create my own book plate. No, I can't just go buy a ready-made one and add my name to it or print a silly sticker. I want to design and produce it myself. I want it to be a reading mermaid.  This is my latest drawing of it....
 

Katie's Custom Bookplate

Then I decided I wanted to do a carving and stamp of it.  This is how it turned out....


This is all because I love my books. If I loan my books out (which I almost never do because I love them and I WANT THEM BACK), they will have my name and my mermaid stamped in them. Then the borrower will return them because I've put MY art and my name in them, right???  Right??? Uh, hmmmm.... maybe I will just buy another copy of that book I love and want to keep, stamp it and then loan it. Then I'm only out about $7.50, get to use my cool artsy-fartsy stamp I made and still get to keep my friend. I get a little pissy about my books in case you didn't notice. It's because I love them.

Speaking of books, and I could spend a lot of time discussing books, I'm currently reading A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness.  Cool book. Vampires and Witches and Magic and all that jazz. Not Twilight-y. I can't stand whiney.  I'm also reading a couple of other books, and review the books I read on Goodreads. If' you're interested, look me up there.

Anything this is wasted effort represents wasted time.
Ted W. Engstrom

Because, if one is writing novels today, concentrating on the beauty of the prose is right up there with concentrating on your semi-colons, for wasted effort. Neil Gaiman

I really should be studying, but will probably go watch another back episode of Weeds. All this extra TIME has polarized me into inaction.